It wasn’t the plan. But then nothing about last night’s dinner went as planned.
It all started with the bushel of parsley I found in the back of the refrigerator. Roughly 20 bunches. Or so it seemed. And all of it was perched on top of a cucumber.
Surely I could do something with these.
I decided to make a salad sort of thing. So I washed the mountain of parsley and diced the cucumber. I tossed them together… And inspiration failed me.
So I popped four carrots in the food processor and made a mess.
So I dumped the mess in.
There was a bowl of citrus preparing to rot on the counter, so I juiced about 6 limes and 2 lemons, splashing one of the cats in the process. The cat was pissed. So I dumped that (the juice, not the cat) in.
It tasted gross. Like — Are you ready? — way too much parsley.
So I added some Greek yogurt. Meh.
So I added some Dijon mustard. Meh.
So I boiled up about 10 pounds of pearled barley, then chilled it in nature’s refrigerator (the sub-zero porch). I dumped in some of that.
Say it with me… Meh.
It was one of those meals where in desperation to save a dish I just kept adding things hoping the next item I grabbed would be the magic one that tied it all together, but never did.
Finally, I drizzled in some honey.
Which was an improvement over meh. So I decided to live with it.
But there was no way the veg-phobic kid was eating this mess. Cue the bacon.
Mostly because that was the only meat I had. So I diced it up and sauteed it.
I added the rest of the barley that didn’t get sacrificed to my salad, a can of diced tomatoes, a can red beans, some chili powder, cumin, garlic powder and smoked paprika. Salt, pepper and… Whatever.
It was fine. For being built on a base of 1 pound of bacon, it should have been better.
So that — along with an utter mess of a yogurt and graham cracker parfait — is Parker’s lunch today.